An Alternative to Punishment
Ever find yourself punishing your child by taking stuff away from them? It’s the standard response. Child behaves badly – take item/privilege away from them in the hope they’ll buck up their ideas. It might be a phone, tablet, sweets, toys, favourite TV programme, freedom to go out…whatever.
What about considering NOT punishing your child.
WHAT?!
How will they EVER learn to behave?
Trouble is, when you take stuff away from your child, to teach them a lesson, invariably it doesn’t work, which then means you have to up the ante the next time they misbehave and take away more and more stuff. Before long they resent you, you feel dreadful and you’re in this horrible negative spot with everybody disliking each other.
Instead of taking stuff away, give stuff. No, not when they’re doing the thing you don’t want, but when they’re doing the thing you DO want! When you see them behaving in the way you like (however small it is), Call it out.
They’re sitting quietly, engaged in drawing? (and not bugging you) – tell them. Reward that.
Kept their bedroom tidy? – Reward that too.
Put the bins out/remembered to do their homework/went to bed without kicking up a stink/put their cloths away/put their plate in the kitchen….all this is the stuff you have to call out and raise a magnifying glass to… Not the bad stuff.
Call out the good stuff, create a positive environment where the focus is on the things they do well….and you’ll find the need to punish and remove privileges fades away.
