How to get your child to do their Homework
When does your child do their homework? Are they a ‘do it on the day’ type of person or a ‘leave it to the last minute’ kind?
Homework can be difficult to navigate because it can feel like a school invasion at home. And I can’t blame children, really – they work hard all day long, all week long, in fact, and then sigh there’s MORE work to do!
I’ve always been a bit of a putter off-er, responding best when time is running out and I’m forced to find focus, particularly with stuff I would rather not face. Accounts, tax returns, form filling – YUCK, and lots of children fall into this category too when it comes to homework. That and the fact that at the end of the week, the weekend opens up before them like a huge landscape of possibilities and time takes on a different feel. That homework can wait, and wait a bit longer, and longer. And then BAM, it’s Monday. Where did the weekend go? And now there’s a whack of homework to get done in less than 3 minutes. PANIC!
Here’s a few ideas to help you navigate this issue.
It stands to reason that you should find a quiet place for homework, have all the stuff that’s needed to hand, and few distractions. There’s a lot more to it than just setting up the correct space for it, though, especially if you’re relatively new to the world of homework and your child is resistant to it.
First of all, you have to engage yourself as the parent. This is your responsibility too. OK, yes, ultimately you want your child to take responsibility, but you also want the homework done. Forget about the responsibility issue for a bit. Until you overcome the ‘resistance’ issue, it’s pointless trying to tackle the issue of taking responsibility. Shelve it and come back to that idea later, when your child happily sits down and completes their homework without angry words and resistance.
So, be available. Sit down with your child to show him or her that you’re present and engaged with this activity.
If you meet massive resistance even to the very idea of homework, you can try making it into a game. Something really basic can really push it along. For example, get a cup or bowl and set it across the room/other side of the desk, and then get some scrunched up paper. Each time your child completes a question (keep the task very small), then go for it with the makeshift basketball with the paper and cup. Aim, shoot, score and high fives all round. Then back to it, for the next question and repeat. This builds fun into the whole process.
Likewise you can expand this idea. Lots of kids find it tough to apply themselves and sit down quietly for the homework itself…so build in an obstacle course, with activity breaks between questions.
Maybe you’re practicing spellings? OK, so perhaps each time they practice the word with you and get it right, they have to run downstairs/upstairs, grab a fork from the kitchen, piece of lego from the box, jump 3 times on their bed, spin around twice in the living room and run back to where you’re doing the homework. Maybe you can time it on your phone to build in an extra bit of excitement, perhaps pair it with a crisp/chocolate button each time they complete the obstacle course – that’s up to you.
You can have real fun with this and it keeps motivation and engagement levels high.
The important thing is to find out what it is that your child really likes and see if you can build that into the homework process. Homework doesn’t HAVE to be completed in one sitting, so if your child finds applying themselves to the task particularly difficult, then break it up over a few short sessions, even if you feel tempted to do it all in one hit, just to get it out of the way. You’ll regret that.
You’re aiming for this to be a positive experience, because positive experiences build more positive experiences, meaning that the next time homework crops up, they’re more likely to view it in a better light if they had a good experience last time. If it looks like it’s becoming onerous or problematic, take a break.
All the time your child is sitting down, doing their homework, they’re effectively doing as you’ve asked of them as a parent, and what the school has asked of them as a student. That’s a big deal, so give them praise for this. Even if your child is perfectly fine with doing their homework and will happily sit down and do it, don’t forget to call that out and remind them how well they’re doing.
As your child becomes more and more successful with being OK at sitting down to do their homework with you, you can begin to take a step back. Maybe you can reduce the obstacle course/games to every few questions, then just at the end. Finally fade back completely so that you set your child off to do their homework, check on them part way through, by giving them encouragement for keeping going, and then loads of praise at the end for giving it a go.
Remember, you’re the facilitator in all of this – not the person doing the homework, but the supporter and the enabler. By building fun activities in and around what might feel like a tedious chore, you’re providing an experience that is overall more positive. The actual content and quality of the homework isn’t what you’re working on here…that’s a blog for another day.
